Episode 10: Self-Control: Becoming like Christ
Our passages today are from: Mark 14:32-42 and Titus 2:11-14.
Self-control - it's something we so often try to muster up in our own strength but in our final episode of our Bible study in the fruit of the spirit, we're talking about the importance of Jesus shaping our understanding of this word, and what it looks like to become more like him.
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How do we see the contrast between Jesus and his disciples in this passage?
How does our understanding of self-control grow with Jesus, and eternity in view?
In what ways will your prayers be shaped by this deeper understanding of self-control?
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Thank you to all of you who are partnering with us - we’re so grateful for the ways in which you are joining us on our podcasting journey: as you listen, as you pray for us and as you reach out in numerous ways.
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The following is an uncorrected transcript generated by a transcription service. Before quoting in print, please check the corresponding audio for accuracy.
Felicity: Friends, we've come to the end of our season in the fruit of the spirit and we're so thankful for every one of you who has made this season a reality through your prayerful and financial partnership. As we draw this season to a close, we're getting ready to release this year's partnership pack, giving you the chance to give a gift of any amount in exchange for a bumper pack of goodies. As we say regularly, the podcast will always be free, but it's not free to produce. And we're looking to raise funds for the coming years. We hope to continue pressing record on our conversations.
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Sarah: Welcome to the final episode of season 13 of Two Sisters and a Cup of Tea. My name is Sarah, I live in the UK and as ever, I'm with my sister Felicity, who's in the US. And we feel kind of real sadness actually to be leaving these conversations. This is the final one and yet as we've kind of seen all the through the season, these conversations are not just limited to 20 minute bursts. We are constantly talking through what it looks like, isn't it, to grow and bearcthe fruit of Christ's spirit and what it looks like to keep gazing at him. So it has been just a real, a true joy, Felicity.
Felicity: A true joy and we're excited to get into self-control today aren't we and feels like that is like linchpin to many of these other fruits and but like Sarah we this is different this season has been a bit different to how we've normally done it usually we're walking through a book of the Bible and I don't think either of us really knew how this was gonna play out what's been the biggest surprise for you as we've walked through the fruit of the spirit this season
Sarah: Great question. Surprise, think, surprise, genuinely surprise at how all intertwined the fruit is. Like it's all so connected, you cannot have one without the other. We talk about gentleness or we talk about faithfulness or goodness, but you can't have those without patience, without the love. And just kind of the more you see that, I think it's been really helpful kind of to have that big view and also just to see how beautiful this life is. How beautiful Christ is and how beautiful it is to pursue the way of Jesus and truly to seek to honour others well. Yeah, I think I've just been really, really struck by that. And I've been really surprised, not surprised, but just I've really valued slowing down and really just kind of letting our hearts dwell richly on these words of truth.
Felicity: I think similarly that desirability of it is big isn't it? Which sounds kind of crazy because obviously we've always wanted to bear the fruit of the spirit but I think by having Jesus like front and centre and in full view throughout our whole kind of deep dive the more I've seen Jesus the more I think wow he is beautiful and therefore I want to be more like Christ and this then becomes something that I want to pursue I want to bear the fruit of the spirit not just because I should just because I know that's the thing that we're supposed to do as Christians but because I've just seen Jesus more clearly I think and like in all my Christian life I'm not sure that I've thought about this in such close connection to Jesus which as I say that out loud just feels a little crazy but that is that's been a really a really beautiful thing
Sarah: It's been so valuable hasn't it? It's been so so good. Okay well we're delving into self-control, the last fruit today, and to do that we're going to be in Mark's Gospel chapter 14 and Felicity you're going to read for us from verses 32 to 42 where we find Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Felicity: Okay, here we go. 32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” 35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 “Abba,[f] Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” 37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him. 41 Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Sarah: Thank you, Felicity. I'm so struck reading this again. You can't see Jesus here without seeing the contrast that Mark paints with his disciples, you, in this? We've got Jesus in the garden, in a very lonely position. Even though his disciples are in the vicinity, he's in a hugely distressed, lonely state. His disciples have been asked to stay awake. They've been asked to have self-control in this particular moment and we see just the sheer contrast between the two.
Felicity: Yes, it's just literally next door to each other like Jesus on and as Jesus goes further on as we hit verse 35 and he speaks very directly to Abba Father saying take this cup from me like that's his fleshly desire isn't it that, please Lord don't let me have to go through what I'm about to go through take on your wrath for the sake of the people of us and instead he says, yet not what I will, but what you will. And so he surrenders his own will to the Father's will. He is obedient to the Father over and above his own flesh. And that's the direct opposite to what's happening just down the road, not even down the road, like a couple of trees away. The disciples are totally at the mercy of their flesh it seems and unable to keep their heavy eyes open
Sarah: I think yeah what's really striking about that is we so often think that it would have been easy for Jesus. We so often think don't we that well he's Jesus, he's God, like of course he's gonna be fine with saying no to sin, no to self and yet here the words that are used to describe his kind of plight deeply distressed and troubled, my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death he says, that I mean that weight, that weight on him and the realisation that actually Calvary wasn't just, you this whole road to Calvary, this whole road of self-control right the way through his life to say no to temptation, to say no to the devil's snares, to say no to self at every point. And then ultimately to do that, to end up on that cross without his self-control, there would be no salvation for us. And that book, Landry Cruz in that book really, really helped us see the clarity of that, didn't he?
Felicity: That salvation comes about through Jesus's self-control. So we desperately need Jesus's self-control in order to have eternal life. that just a, so this element of the fruit of the Spirit has such eternal consequence as we behold it in Christ. that is just really helpful. That's a really helpful thing to see, it? Because I think it elevates then self-control. Because I think you and I were talking earlier our perception of self-control is maybe a little different. I feel like biscuits came into the conversation.
Sarah: It totally did. I think my perception before properly kind of diving into self-control to study it was one, it's a little bit burdensome. I don't really, I don't feel much desire for it. It just feels a burdensome fruit to pursue. And two, I feel like it's just almost always linked to that third biscuit. And actually what this is is so much bigger and so much greater and has such eternal consequences in terms of what Jesus is doing here and actually the impact for us then to think about self-control in, as we've been seeing the other fruits, it's relational and it has an impact on others. Yeah, yeah, it's big, isn't it?
Felicity: Yeah, it is big. And I was thinking about what is a definition then of self-control? think there's a, it's obedience to God that is, it winds out over our own fleshly desires. So we have desires that would take us on a different route entirely. And as we are obedient to God, as we have self-control and are able to say no to that and yes to this, the Christ-like way. Then that is the means by which not only are we able to keep going, to keep walking with Jesus, to keep from the eternal perspective that we've just considered here, but also the way in which we are to love those around us. So the kind of loving God and loving others, that classic command, self-control is just such a huge part of that.
Sarah: It's huge, isn't it? Because without self-control, of course I will love self more than my neighbour. Without self-control, of course I will express my anger rather than use a gentle word. Without self-control, my impatience will get the better of me. And we see the reality of that, don't we, with the disciples here? We see the reality of our own hearts, that it is a real wrestle, that it's not easy, and that we really need Jesus' self-control And we need to remember that we are fused to Him, united to Him, so that we can and we will bear the fruit of self-control in our lives. Like we are not powerless in this. And we talked a little bit about that last time with kind of gentleness, didn't we? That actually there's a power in choosing to be gentle. It's a powerful thing to control oneself in order to be more Christ-like in a situation. And we have that opportunity, we have the opportunity to bear that fruit of self-control and therefore really genuinely honour others and serve others humbly in love. when you start to see it in that framework, that it's a really freeing thing to pursue self-control because of the impact it's going to have on others, that's a desirable thing. That no longer feels like a burden to me. That feels like a desirable and beautiful thing that I want to pursue and I want to pray for.
Felicity: I think that's right. Titus is really helpful on this. Let's go to Titus chapter two and I'm going to read for us verses 11 through to 14.11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. And when we have there this grace, of God that's appeared, that's Jesus. So as we see Jesus, he then teaches us, trains us, enables us to say no to ungodliness and instead to live self-controlled upright and godly lives. And the context for it there in verse 13, while we wait for the blessed hope. Yeah.
Sarah: So helpful. So helpful that eternal view, having the long range in view, isn't it? And remembering that actually, why would we choose self-control? It's because the glories of heaven await and we want that, don't we? We want to get there. And so why would we not kind of deny ourselves the passions of the flesh, deny ourselves of the way that is contrary to Christ now, because we've got the big view, the big long range view.
Felicity: Yeah, and I think sometimes as Christians we can just be a bit like, oh surely I just need to just do it for the joy of doing it now. But the Bible gives us the prize, the goal, the reward all the way through. I was listening to someone called Sharanda Cooper on the Crossway podcast, great podcast if anyone needs some other edifying listens. And she's a fitness instructor, she's a Bible teacher, but she's a fitness instructor. And she was just using the illustration of she gives her clients rewards all the time, like, see what will happen if you do this. And it's different because we are by the Spirit, by God's grace, the cooperative principle as we've been talking about all the way through. But that prize is really helpful. This is the reason why we would say no to ungodliness and why we would live self-controlled lives. And I love that very explicitly here, Christ is the means of that. And really this is an outworking and we've seen that all throughout this deep dive into the fruit of the Spirit. As we see Jesus, we are then modelled and kind of enabled to bear the fruit of the Spirit, like it's intimately connected to Christ himself.
Sarah: And he, yeah, and he not only gives us the means by his spirit, but he also gives us words to pray, doesn't he? And I think I've been really struck by that as I've just been thinking through, okay, what does this actually really look like on the ground day by day to pray for this? And then, where do you have it? The Lord's Prayer that he calls us to pray daily has the phrase that we need. He knows that we need to pray these things. He knows that we need to pray. He knows that we need to pray, Lord lead us not into temptation. He asks us to pray, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. And then he gives us the big view at the end of that, doesn't he? Yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory. And I just, I love that. I love that he's already given me the words to pray. I can pray those words. And as I do so, I can remember that it's his kingdom. I remember that it's his power and I remember that it's for his glory. And the more that I view it in that way, the more again that I'm reminded that yes, I do want to pursue this. I do want to grow in self-control because I see the value of it to those around me.
Felicity: And so I was thinking, as we go from here, we love talking about these things, obviously, but as we go from here, we turn off the microphone and we step back out into our everyday lives. What does it look like for me to pursue self-control? Why would I want to pursue self-control? It's in the everyday decisions isn't it? It's in the every moment decisions. It's not like a grand statement. I will be self controlled. Sometimes I can do that. Like I will be self controlled about my patience or whatever it may be. But actually it's in the daily moments I think that is where I kind of flex this muscle or grow this muscle. I don't know what the muscle terminology is but strengthen the muscle that's it.
Sarah: Yeah, don't become a fitness instructor yet, just yet. But yeah, I think that's right. It's the ordinary moments, isn't it? The ordinary faithfulness of choosing Christ's way and choosing to say, not my will, but yours, Lord. And it's those arrow prayers, isn't it? It's the small prayers through our day. And I think what this has been really good for me, the whole kind of series in Fruit of the Spirit has just been just really flagging up all these virtues, all these fruits, to have it in my mind more, to have it on my lips more, to be more readily praying for this. It's just been really valuable to see, to then want to see that and to see it out worked. And in a similar way to actually, my eyes are primed to see this fruit out worked in the body of Christ in our local church family and then wanting to encourage others in that. And I think it's just been really, really helpful to kind of have this on the radar in a much bigger way than it's ever been before.
Felicity: No, I think that's right. That's really helpful. There's a mind, a kind of intentionality to that. We're intentional in our prayer for it, but we're intentional in the sense that we're looking for it. And the wonderful thing is we're essentially looking for Christ-likeness. So as we see that in others, we know that the Lord is transforming that person into the likeness of Christ. 2 Corinthians 3 verse 18 says that degree by degree will be transformed into the likeness of Christ. And this, as we see the fruit of the Spirit, this is evidence of that and so there's a wonderful assurance there and an encouragement the Lord is at work in us by his spirit we are being led towards godliness we are being led in self-control and gentleness and all the things that we've been speaking about and we just I think we just need to as we as we wrap up we kind of need to land it back there in the sense that this is the work of the Lord in us we are embodying Christ as we bear this fruit. And we strive for that and all these conversations we've been urging one another on in this, haven't we? But let's just end by thinking and remembering and delighting in the fact that God himself is eager for this in us. And he's not just wanting it, he is doing it. This is what he's in the business of doing and transforming us into the likeness of Christ.
Sarah: And that he never changes so he is this he embodies every part of what we've been seeing this season he is this towards me he is all these roots and he will never change in that and the way that I approach him the way that I plead with him for my own heart the way that I seek to grow I we come back to him don't we come to me as we remembering last Friday come to me I am gentle and just, he's ready to receive us wherever we are on this journey, whether we feel like we're full of shame, whether we feel like we're just really struggling, whether we feel like maybe we're not growing at all and we're concerned for that, come to me, he says. Look at Jesus, look at his beautiful nature of love towards you, of peace initiating towards you, of immense patience towards you and all the rest and end there and begin there. And as we were saying, the whole journey always begins middles and ends with Christ, doesn't it? that's just a really, really important note to end on.
Felicity: Yeah, well why don't I pray for us as we finish? Father we praise you for Jesus. We thank you for the way in which we can come to you through him. Thank you that as we see the fruit of the Spirit we know that that is you, that that is Christ. So Father we pray that we be those who are eager to run in your direction with every step and as we do we pray that you would be at work in us. Please Lord by your Spirit would you bear the fruit of the Spirit. We pray that we would be those who are transformed into the likeness Christ one degree at a time for your glory Lord please we pray that these conversations wouldn't just be conversations but that these would be used by you to shift us more towards Jesus in all of these ways and we pray that in your name amen.
Sarah: Amen. Well, that is a wrap on season 13 of Two Sisters and a Cup of Tea. Do sign up for our newsletter and stay tuned as we launch our partnership pack. We really are deeply thankful for your support. We're so grateful for every download, for every email, for every comment on social media, for every financial gift and every prayer. We really do pray this resource continues to be helpful for you and we look forward to seeing you next season.
Felicity: Yeah, we’ll see you then.
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